How to Become a Lucky Person

Do you consider yourself lucky?

I have a friend who is. We even call him “Lucky Nicky.”

Example: In our pre-ridesharing days in San Francisco, Roy and I would go to meet Nick for dinner in an impossible-to-park-in part of town. Roy and I would circle a couple times then either cave in and use valet, or park far away then walk for a few cold, wet blocks. (Sadly for Roy, this contributed to me phasing high heels out of my life.)

Lucky Nicky on the other hand would drive right to the front of the restaurant and BOOM! Parked right in “his spot”. Somehow, “his spot” was always there, right when he drove up. No matter where we went.

Before I go on, keep this in mind: I’m not as woo-woo as I may sometimes (often?) seem. I believe in love and creativity, but I’m a trained social scientist, a data nerd who spent 12 years steeped in the skeptical culture of academia. I get probability. I’m deeply aware of how riddled our perceptions are, and our long list of cognitive biases.

So I had a VERY hard time believing in “luck.”

But it turns out, you can actually LEARN to become lucky. The research backs this up! If I hadn’t heard this from one of my heroes I don’t think I would have believed this.

That hero is Gay Hendricks — a Stanford PhD, and mega-expert in psychology, consciousness, and relationships. He wrote best sellers like The Big Leap and Joy of Genius — and his new book is Conscious Luck .

Yes. You can choose to be lucky. It’s a conscious decision. Conscious change begins with commitment, a conscious commitment that brings into mind what you want most, including being lucky.

Turns out I’m learning to be lucky too, because (pinching myself!) Gay Hendricks joined me as a guest on my podcast, ALLOWED for the episode, Conscious Luck and Upper Limit Problems .

You’ll see me smiling ear to ear when you watch this episode.

We explore how important it is for leaders to have an openness to learning, how 10-second miracle conversations can change leadership, how most of us upper limit ourselves, and how making conscious commitments can bring you what you truly want most.

Highlights:

• 4:54 — Welcome Gay Hendricks to the Allowed Podcast.
• 5:14 — Gay discusses his bestselling book The Big Leap and upper limit problems and how he came up with the concept.
• 9:18 — Gay explains what the ULP or Upper Limit Problem is.
• 11:29 — How fear plays into the upper limit problem process within all of us.
• 16:10 — Gay explains you have two ways of looking at human beings. We are human animals rather than failed angels.
• 19:44 — We have these two cosmic pulls in us. One is to expand and one is to contract. Once we get into harmony with that, things can move very well but if we are resisting every move of that process our whole systems are working against each other.
• 22:59 — In Gay’s seminars for business leaders, he teaches openness to learning. He spent many consulting days with Michael Dell. At the very top of companies, you see people who are so open to learning that they walk down the halls and soak up learning. Gay has never seen a person digest change as quickly.
• 25:02 — Gay speaks about the importance of the 10-second sweaty conversation. The value is in the healing that comes from them. These can actually be 10-second miracle conversations because of the relief and healing that comes from letting go of the drama and avoidance.
• 26:03 — Gay talks about where in the body certain emotions are held and how they are released from bottom to top.
• 30:18 — We are a parfait of feeling. Anger on top. Sadness in the middle. And fear at the bottom of everything. Gay speaks about how shame is a mixture of fear, sadness, and anger but it shows up lower in the body which he addresses in his new book Conscious Luck.
• 32:16 — The big finding exposed in Gay’s new book Conscious Luck is you can consciously change your luck.
• 34:59 — Gay shares an exclusive story about Gay and his own experience with creating luck in a conscious way. It is about making a decision to be lucky and how that changed his life.
• 38:48 — All conscious change begins with a new conscious commitment. There are 8 different tools you can use to make yourself luckier. One is to create luck-worthy goals.
• 41:46 — Gay talks about how it is important to take a moment and love that part of you that doesn’t feel like you deserve it. Love the part of you that doesn’t feel worthy. The feeling of unworthiness is the number one fear we have to get out of ourselves.
• 43:28 — Gay explains the Genius Spiral and how the Zone of Genius is actually an ongoing and growing spiral.

Originally published at https://caneel.com.